Cultivating better self awareness

• An important step is to notice how we protect ourselves to save face.
• We pat ourselves on the back for our successes but blame external factors for our failures. But, we say that our colleagues are stupid for failing and just lucky when they succeed. Double standard?
• Being more objective with ourselves takes work, but the payoff is better control over our emotions.
• Raise your self awareness by making a list of the most common patterns you regularly repeat:-
  • Do you lose your temper regularly under certain conditions?
  • Do you habitually find fault with someone else's ideas?
  • Do you worry about the same sorts of things every day?
  • What actions on the part of others regularly annoy you?
  • When questioned, do you always get defensive?
  • In a debate, do you nearly always raise your voice?
  • Or do you consistently feel intimidated and back down?
  • Do you switch off when certain people are talking to you? Or when certain subjects are raised?
• To round out your list, try monitoring your reactions over the next week. Note how you respond and ask yourself why you acted as you did and how you might have behaved differently.
• Try to stop yourself from pointing the finger at someone else. Remind yourself that however badly someone else behaves, your response is within your control ... unless you are a puppet!
• Take stock of what you are learning about yourself as you go.
• If some of it feels a bit uncomfortable, remember that everyone else has similar tendencies and at least you are working towards better self management.