Dealing with negative feedback

• Do you invite feedback then shoot the messenger?
• You're not alone - many managers say they're open to feedback.
• But they invite with their heads and react with their hearts.
• They have difficulty managing feedback constructively.
• Virtually everyone finds negative feedback hard to take.

Dealing with feedback constructively

• Agree some ground rules - i.e. to say something positive first - what they like about your idea or what has gone well on a project.
• The focus should be on what you did, not on you as a person.
• Emphasize the future not the past, i.e. ''How could you improve on that?'' instead of ''Why did you do that?''
• Thank the person for speaking openly and trusting you.
• Ask for clarification, elaboration and suggestions for improvement.
• If they have got the facts wrong, don't jump on them for it. Rather, ask what you did to give them that impression. And how might you avoid giving them that impression in the future?
• If it is essential to clarify an error of fact, strive to control your emotions and thank them again for their openness.
• Take some responsibility (if appropriate) for not communicating with them more fully to have prevented their error.
• When people give you feedback in an angry tone, try not to react back in anger. Instead, comment that they seem to feel strongly about this and ask why. Show empathy or respect for their feelings.