Resolving conflict with a customer

• Are you focusing on what the customer wants or what you want?
• Do you know why it is wanted?
• Sometimes customers want things for reasons that aren't obvious.
• Like concerns that you could easily address in another way.
• How could you find out more about the customer's why's?
• Ask questions like:
  • What benefits are there in your approach?
  • What would this do for you personally?
  • What other issues would thereby be resolved?
  • What concerns do you have about my suggestion?
  • What would my approach prevent happening?
• Reasons cited by your customer might just be rationalizations for some underlying agenda that he/she does not want to admit.
• So, you might need to ask of each reason why it is important.
• How much probing you can do depends on the strength of your relationship with your customer and how supportively you can ask your questions.
• An inquisitorial or accusatory tone only increases defensiveness.
• Keep in mind the difference between 2 types of questions: (1) fact-finding, analytical questions that generate information for you to propose your own solution and (2) engaging questions like ''What would you ideally like to see happen?'' The second type can make customers feel good because solutions are jointly generated rather than just by you.
• Explain your desire to help the customer and your need to fully understand in order to be maximally helpful.
• Ask if there is something else you could do that would address the same need in a different way?
• If, in the end, you have to give in to the customer, what can you gain in exchange? Bargain rather than just concede.
• If in fact you cannot give in, what else can you offer the customer to keep him/her happy