Resolving conflict over direction

• Conflict hardens when neither side backs down - a face-saving dead end.
• The harder each side pushes the more entrenched each becomes.
• The first step to find a way out is to stop pushing.
• How can both sides progress with neither appearing to back down?
• Instead of focusing on areas of disagreement, each side should list all the positive features they can see in each other's position.
• How can you combine the best ideas of each position?
• What trade-offs can you agree so that both sides feel they won?
• What can each support in the other's views in exchange for support on something else?
• What mutual compromises might lead to mutual benefits?
• They could be so emotionally committed to winning this one that they might be prepared to pay too much for it.
• This outcome could see you winning a bigger prize in the long run.
• Think back to basics: Why do you really need to get your way?
• What career gains follow if you win this particular issue?
• Can you now re-frame the situation so you can see another way of achieving the same gains with your opponent's help in exchange for your compromise on this issue?
• The emotionally intelligent response is often to accept an immediate loss in exchange for a longer term gain.
• The less emotionally intelligent response is to want to win no matter what.
• What if your idea is so much better that you can't back down?
• Could you enlist support from others to outvote your opponent?
• Power plays should be a last resort, however, as they can create enemies and undermine team work.

You can't PUSH people toward you, only away.