Influence based on facts and logic

• Do you avoid emotions, seeing them as dangerous, too hard to handle, to be suppressed at all costs?
• Have you fully succeeded in keeping yours at bay?
• Do your strong feelings show themselves in less obvious ways?
• What impact might ignoring your feelings have on your health?
• We like to think we're rational and that others should be too.
• But we are more complex than this.
• What we see as ''logical'' is usually based on how we feel about it.
• The ''facts'' we highlight are the ones we choose to emphasize.
• It is easy to kid ourselves into thinking that we are totally objective.
• Ignore the role played by feelings and we don't see the full picture.
• We emphasize facts and logic so we can make sound judgements.
• But ignoring half the story is not a recipe for good judgement.
• In reality, everyone's actions are affected by their feelings.

How to take more account of feelings

• Whenever people present a ''logical'' argument, ask yourself questions like:
  • What's in it for them?
  • What is at stake for them in this situation?
  • How might this argument be a rationalization for something else?
  • Why do they feel so strongly about this position?
• Rather than meeting their argument head-on, can you think of some other way of helping them achieve what they want? This could produce a win-win solution. Arguing through logic alone often leads to win-lose outcomes.
• Comment on how strongly they seem to feel about this.
• Ask sensitive, probing questions to see if you can get underneath their logical reasons for defending their view.
• What would this enable them to achieve?
• How would they feel if they were able to do this?
• You won't always get to the bottom of things because people will go to great lengths to avoid admitting any personal interest, but you will sometimes pick up useful clues that will strengthen your ability to influence people beyond merely relying on logical counterarguments.