Finding fault and placing blame

• We place blame elsewhere so automatically and so often, we might not be aware of the extent to which we do it.
• We attribute our successes to our brilliance, but blame circumstances or other people for our failures.
• Conversely, we blame others for their failures and credit circumstances or luck for their successes.
• Carrying this to extremes is a sign of low self esteem.
• So is the reverse pattern - when you succeed you think you are just lucky while others' successes are evidence of their greater talent. And your failures prove your weakness while the failures of others must just be a momentary dose of bad luck.
• A moderate amount of rationalization, however, is just part of our psychological immune system - a way of protecting our self esteem.
• It shows more emotional intelligence, however, to be aware of what we are doing whenever we rationalize our mistakes.
• And then to look at what we might do differently next time.

Leadership opportunity

• When facing a problem, no matter what or who seems to be causing it, we can always ask ourselves: ''What can I do differently?''
• Or, regardless of the role of others or circumstances, we can always ask ourselves: ''What could I have done to prevent that?''
• Taking more responsibility puts you in a position to display your leadership.
• The alternative is a victim mentality which renders you powerless.
• Placing blame elsewhere is self defeating. It's done to save face, but feeling powerless is not a recipe for enhancing self esteem.