Facing personal weaknesses

• When confident, we play to our strengths and forget weaknesseses.
• Otherwise, our weaknesses loom large in our minds.
• When most aware of our weaknesses we are most defensive.
• It's natural to defend ourselves - hence our body's immune system.
• When defensive we don't learn - we're too busy protecting ourselves.
• Mistakes are always someone else's fault.
• To become less sensitve to weaknesses, downplay them.
• Start by building up your awareness of your strengths.
• Your weaknesses are no worse than anybody else's.
• Sensitivity to weaknesses is caused by too much negative feedback.
• Can you reframe a weakness as an opportunity to learn rather than a fatal flaw that makes you an unworthy, bad, unlikeable person?
• Build your confidence by engineering more positive feedback for yourself. Enforce a rule - No negative feedback without positive - all team members state what went well in addition to what did not.

Steps to reduce defensiveness about weaknesses

• Focus on behaviour, not personality - what you do not what you are.
• Look to the future - no blame. What can you do next time?
• Avoid global judgements - I did a stupid thing, not I'm a stupid person.
• Focus on 1, 2 or 3 development needs that would strategically add most value to what you want to achieve.
• Don't try to change your basic personality. For example if you are a strong introvert, you will not likely ever be the life of the party.
• Make modest changes - adapt new approaches to your own style.
• Form learning partnerships with colleagues who also want to devlop.
• Get team members to cover for weakness you can't change.
• Learn to accept yourself. Stop beating yourself for not measuring up to someone else's unrealistic standards.
• Play to your strengths.