Influencing skills

What is your influencing style? Try this quiz.

• Influencing is usually seen as something you DO TO someone.
• It's win-lose and, of course, you want to win.
• Bargaining is a better model for influencing - emphasizes 2-way communication.
• Influencing through bargaining encourages win-win outcomes.

The most common influencing strategies:-

1. Showing enthusiasm for an idea, setting an example.
2. Developing and presenting a logical argument.
3. Building a coalition with key supporters.
4. Fostering peer pressure.
5. Getting an insider on board who can bring others along.
6. Negotiating or bargaining encourages dialogue.
7. Coercion can work but can't count as leadership.
8. Exert authority - pressure yields short term wins but risks long term losses.

Which of the above is your favourite? Which one should you use less often? Which ones would help you expand your repertoire of influencing skills?

• Most of the common approaches are ''push'' rather than ''pull''.
• Developing and presenting arguments is the most popular approach.
• It seems rational to expect others to listen to reason, so we construct the most reasonable arguments we can think of.
• This is a recipe for polarization, no matter how logical you are.
• The quickest way to improve your influencing skills is through dialogue.
• Begin by finding out what the other person really wants.
• This is not just an analytical exercise. Ask factual questions to gather data, but more importantly ask involving, respectful questions like:
  • ''What sort of solution would you like to see?''
  • ''What benefits would there be for you of that approach?''
  • ''How can I help you meet your needs?''
  • ''What steps could you take to help me meet my needs?''
  • ''What aspects of my position do you like?''
  • ''What do you see as the downside of your approach?''
• Once you have created a genuine dialogue based on mutual respect and listening, begin to present the advantages of your approach, stressing what is in it for the other party - as far as possible.
• Questions ''pull'' the other party towards you.
• Your influencing attempt should stress what's in it for the other party rather than just why your view has the weight of factual, logical evidence on its side. Often we feel we are presenting objective good reasons for our position when, in reality, we are just rationalizing our own preferences.