Poking fun at people

• You see it as fun. How do they see it?
• Is t easing people your way of avoiding dealing with issues openly?
• What damage might your style be causing to your relationships?
• People might conclude that you don't have the confidence to deal with sensitive issues openly.
• How can you lead if that's the message you're communicating?
• Can you expect them to be open with you?
• How can you reduce your discomfort with being more open?

Steps for dealing with sensitive issues openly

• Minimize confrontation by discussing performance regularly.
• Regular discussions of what went well and what did not can eliminate the shock or embarrassment of raising problems.
• Avoid unexpected feedback - people don't like nasty surprises.
• Begin and end with positive feedback.
• Draw out of the other person awareness of unproductive habits.
• Ask rather than tell if at all possible.
• Only present your observations if your questions fail.
• Ask questions like:
  • ''What do you think is going well?''
  • ''Not so well?''
  • If the issue does not arise, ask: ''And how do you feel you handled X?''
  • ''What do you think was the impact of that on your colleague?''
  • ''What might you have done differently?''
• Use occasional supportive comments like:
  • ''I know your intentions were good,''
  • ''Everything else you did was on the right track, you just need to fine tune your approach a bit,''
  • ''With a little fine tuning, you could really excel.''
• Avoid anger, criticism, blame, putting the person down, punishment.
• Focus on what the person did, not what the person is.
• Stress the positive and the future, not the negative and the past.