Scoring points

Do you understand fully why you feel a need to score points? How willing are you to look at yourself as objectively as you can. This means avoiding the natural defensive reaction of saying: ''No, that's definitely not me!''

It's not a matter of how many of these statements are true for you, but whether you are now any clearer about why you feel a need to score points.

What do you want to change?

• Is confidence an issue.
• Are you unclear about your role?
• Are you unsure what your boss thinks of you? Do you get mostly negative feedback from your boss?
• Could you arrange more frequent performance meetings with your boss and engineer them so that you focus equally on what is going well and what is not? This can create a more balanced perspective.
• How could you relate to your colleagues more constructively?
• When disagreeing, could you first point out what you like about their view?
• Instead of making statements about the areas you disagree with that imply ''You're wrong'' could you reformulate your statements as questions, such as, ''What are the implications of your view for X?''
• Then ask ''How do you see us avoiding these pitfalls?''
• This approach amounts to leading people to your conclusions - this is always easier for them to accept than being told they are wrong.
• What could you do if you feel threatened by a colleague?
• Competition within organizations is as real as between them.
• But bad mouthing the competition is not usually as impressive as showing yourself to have more to offer.
• Do you need to do a strategic review of what you are offering?
• Could you shift your focus to remove this competitive threat?
• What is your competitor doing that you could do better?
• Could you form an alliance with your competitor?
• What can you do for your key internal customers that adds more value than what your competitor adds?
• Do you agree that scoring points is anxiety driven and not a long term solution to advancing your best interests? Better to find other ways of allaying your anxiety and of advancing your cause.