Like to talk?

• Outgoing people are fluent talkers. They love interacting with others.
• When they are a bit nervous they fill any silence with talk.
• Contributing to conversations means doing their share of the talking.
• They overlook a different way of interacting - asking questions.
• The easiest way to talk less is to ask more.
• Silence can just as easily be filled by getting the other person to talk.
• Someone once said: ''He who asks the questions controls the conversation.''
• The right questions can steer the conversation as you like.
• Questions create a genuine dialogue. Just talking = monologue.
• Instead of blasting people with all kinds of information you think they might like to hear, why not ask: ''What would you like to know?''
• Telling people what you think they want to hear is like throwing darts in the dark - you'll miss the target most of the time.
• Management is about getting the most out of all resources. It's a facilitative role. Asking questions is the best way of drawing solutions out of others and of encouraging them to think for themselves.
• Asking questions is empowering. Talking is disempowering.
• Talking too much can be modified by doing something that is incompatible with talking. Asking questions is the ideal solution.
• To create dialogue ask open questions - can't be answered by ''yes'' or ''no''.
• Questions beginning with ''What'' or ''How'' are best, as in ''What happened next?'' or ''How did you go about that?''
• There are (at least) two types of questions: data gathering and involving.
• Data gathering questions are good for collecting facts and solving problems but do not create much of a dialogue. Just asking for facts puts you in the role of sole problem solver.
• Involving questions: ''What are you looking for?'', ''What would meet your needs?'', ''What is your opinion?'', ''How do you feel about it?'' bring the whole person into the conversation creating a much fuller dialogue and setting the stage for genuine communication.
• Such questions lead to joint problem solving and win-win solutions.