Feeling Defeated

Why? Here are some possibilities:

• Continuing to push against a locked door - not trying something different.
• Simply giving up - turning away from the door altogether.
• Not being aware of opportunities.
• Focusing on the negatives in a situation and letting them cloud your perspective.

Here are some more reasons for self defeat:

• Frustration reduces our ability to think creatively.
• Anger clouds our judgement.
• We blame others or circumstances to save face - not a source of solutions.
• We blame ourselves, losing confidence to solve the problem.
• Impatience prevents us from stepping back for a broader perspective.
• We discount our strengths and overlook the many resources at our disposal.
• We leap to the first solution that comes to mind, often far from ideal.
• Our dislike of admitting mistakes prevents us from trying something else.
• Any other reasons for feeling defeated? How can you overcome them?

How can you become less self-defeating?

• How can you re-frame your situation as an opportunity?
• Monitor yourself and notice when your emotions are getting in the way. Ask yourself how you can think more positively about the situation.
• Don't try to find a way out in your head, by navel-gazing. Ask people questions about what they see as the keys to their success. People like to talk about themselves so it is a subtle form of flattery to ask them such questions.